One of Jenni's best friends came to pick her up tonight so she could go hangout with some of her childhood friends. It's so good to see her begin that healing process. Today went well. There was a lot of family. A lot of tears, and oddly enough there was a lot of laughter. Lots of stories about Mr. Crump were told. I'm only now starting to see just how good a dad he was. Even with his depression and OCD, he absolutely adored his family.

I just got back from CVS where I got some Benadryl for Jenn to help her sleep. Doesn't music have a way of playing the right song for you? Pedro the Lion happened to be playing, and I loved one of the lines in the song:

"If all that's left is duty, I'm falling on my sword. At least then I would not serve an unseen distant Lord."

Jenni and I have definitely dealt with the question of "why." Why was Jenni's dad taken so soon? Jenni told me today she was angry with God. She wants to know why God heard her cries to Him, and He said "no." For some, this conclusion can rock their faith. For Jenni and I, it's only a question that remains unanswered.

Like Joseph we find ourselves in the middle of a big story that we can't see the end of. We don't question God's love. That would be stupid because God has proven Himself to be a loving Father time and time again.

What ever happened to real relationship with our God? For some their walk with God is defined by duty, or following orders. Why does it have to be a negative if we get angry with Him? Why is it horrible if we question his actions? I believe God wants real genuine relationship, and if real relationship means that you're sometimes pissed off at the other person, so be it. I feel like that's the kind of friendship God desires.

We love our God, but we are also aching for him to give us some answers.