"How do I know if the person is right for me or not? Do you believe God picks out who is supposed to be our soul mate for life?"

Tiffany
Philadelphia, PA

I can't say with complete certainty, since I am still waiting for the right person but I believe it's a lot like discerning God's will in any other area of life. There are the mystics that believe that there will be some sign from God that it's going to be the right decision. They pray about it and pray about it and wait for some kind of confirmation from God.

Obviously, I'm not discounting prayer and it's power, but some people will never take action because they're waiting on God when God has already given clues to his will for us. The Bible talks about things that are in God's will. For instance, it's God's will that you bare much fruit and thus prove to be his disciples. This means if I'm talking to a person about Christ, I don't have to tell the guy to wait just a sec and ask God if this is His will or not. Does that make sense?

I also believe God shows us his will by how he has created us. If he knit me together and knows everything about me, I can also be certain he knows what excites me and what girl I would be most happy with. He also created that other person and knows what her heart deeply desires. If I know that I am walking with the Lord, and my priorities are straight, and I'm living by the Truths God has already laid out through the Bible, then I can go after the things that I'm passionate about and excited about, and know that I'm in God's will. While I'm doing this it is important that I'm constantly asking God for discernment and matching up my actions to what the Bible says. I also know that if God wants to lead me in a different direction then he'll close the door and open another.

Our life shouldn't be lived on complete logic, nor should we just wait for signs from heaven and not use our heads. Our heart should lend passion and feeling to what we want to do, but should be guided by common sense and what God's already spelled out in his Word.

Now to answer your question, the guy who God has for you was hand carved to compliment your weaknesses and bring out your strengths. Do I believe that God has picked out your soulmate? That's a tough question. I do and I don't. I believe that for some he has, and for some he chooses for them to never marry. This isn't supposed to strike fear in your heart that you may never marry. If it is something that God has for you, then you won't want it any other way. For people who God does choose for marriage, I would say he does have the perfect person picked out. I don't think he controls your decisions, but I believe the steps of a righteous man (and woman) are guided by the Lord and if you are living in God's perfect will, then I believe that you will find the man he has chosen for you and who would be the best for you. I've heard it described as a triangle where you both are seeking God and the closer you get to Him, the closer you get to each other. I included a diagram if you're a visual learner (Notice how professional it is).

When it comes down to it, and you have done all you can do to make sure you're in God's will, how do you know if it's the right guy? I think the oracle from the Matrix said it best. "No one can tell you that you're in love, you just know it." I think there's a lot of truth in that statement.

Please send your questions and comments to josh@acsconveyor.com