Who am I?

It's funny to see what people come up with when they try and answer this question. I know opinions aren't supposed to be wrong, but some people have a pretty messed up perception of themselves. They look in the mirror and they see a different person. I was thinking tonight about how blessed I really am. I mean seriously blessed. I mean we're talking REALLY blessed! God made me a capable human being. I'm healthy. I'm smart although I don't really work up to my potential (or so my teachers, family, and friends say). Judging on how good looking some of the girls are that have been attracted to me in the past, makes me think that I'm attractive too although I could be one of those guys who just gets lucky but even then I've got luck going for me. I'm good with people and my love and passion for people shows when I come into contact with them. My heart has been protected from serious injury and because of this, I can unleash my affections on others without fear of rejection or hurt. I believe whatever is said or done to me at this point in my life cannot twist the existing picture that I already have of myself.

The older I get, the more life seems to make sense. A once impossible problem is beginning to be worked out. Who am I? I'm Josh. I'm forgetful and at times irresponsible, but people still follow me. Directly beneath my passion for Christ, I feel I'm holding something back. A good portion of myself is being held back from the woman I'm going to marry one day. I don't know who she is but there is something I want her to have of mine, but can't give it to her until I meet her. I want to get married with her and have lots of children. I want to love her and live with her till I die of a heart attack or stroke or any other old-people's sickness.

Before I commit myself to this girl, I will commit myself to the following. I will fall more deeply in love with God, and I will ask Him to grow me in favor with Him and others. I will ask God to expand my influence from hundreds of people, to thousands. I'll ask Him to bless the things I put my hands to. I will ask Him to bless me with wisdom and humility.

I believe He'll do this because He is able.
I believe He'll do it because He's been preparing me.
I believe He'll do it because of who He made me to be.

Starting now, I will ask big things of God, and will live my life trusting it will be done.