Josser Gazette

Josser Wins Rare Award

Today Josser Killingsworth worked lunch and dinner and made about a hundred dollars in tips. Killingsworth won the award titled: "star of the shift" earlier this evening at work. When interviewed he said, "The only thing I wanted was the $20 towards Ale House that this award gets you." Managers say he worked the hardest and did the best job tonight. "He deserves the award" said fellow Ale House Employee, Chris Graves.

Josser Rocks Classes

Josser's grades came in earlier this morning and in light of this new information, more funds will be requested for next year's education budget. As a result of Josser's excellent performance, it has earned him a spot with other lower end B students. "He came in, and nailed the part" says Jason Killingsworth, Josser's brother and mentor. Josh received an:

"A" in American Government
"B" in Logic
"C" in English
"A" (pending) in Psychology

Josser Works to Pay Down Deficit

The deficit in Josser's budget decreases as a surplus of income continues to come in. Projections for next week are said to be positive, and it looks like Josser will be able to get his mother a present for Mother's Day after all. Josser is currently living alone in his apartment in Gainesville, FL. "It's been good to work so much since I'd be bored sitting around in this empty apartment. I've also been getting a lot of reading done," says Killingsworth optimistically. Josser plans to work tomorrow evening and rest Sunday after a hard week of work.

Josser Killingsworth can be reached at
555-1234 or crazyjosh@hotmail.com