My last entry was on the morning of my birthday and was deleted accidentally. I tried to recycle the words, but ended up leaving the computer with nothing to show for it except some frustration and wasted time.

Yesterday was not what I thought it would be. Things are always better left in the ideal. A few people remembered and I got a couple of calls. I did get to go out with some of my closest friends the night before and I ended with hanging out with the very same people the night after. I got to talk to my mom, for a while who was on her cell phone talking next to my dad who was laying unconcious in the bed beside her. I would have liked to talk to him to, but I let him sleep. Something was weighing on my heart through the conversation and when I was saying goodbye, I realized what it was. I told her I missed her and was sad that this was the first birthday I would not get to celebrate with them.

I've been feeling like I've been falling behind lately. I feel like things are close to falling apart. My life is a juggling act and if one ball falls, I'm going to drop the rest.