Whenever I hear someone give a message, I am usually able to hold a small amount of knowledge. If I try and gather too much information, I just end up losing it all. We took communion today and I don't remember what all our pastor said, but I remember this: That we are completely set free from our sin. It is completely done with, paid for, put through a paper shredder, burned, etc. Grace is one of those truths that is heard and learned, but is rarely fully understood. I have known about grace my whole life and I fear that I will never learn the vast depths of it. When I am hanging within a thread of my life and am plugged up to a life-support machine, I will not even be close to knowing the enormity of this great gift. This morning was just a reminder of how little I understand grace.

After church we are usually provided Krispy Kreme Donuts for refreshments. I am reminded of the young boys running around holding a donut with both their small hands with chocolate smeared all over their cheeks and around their mouth. After the sermon today I felt a little guilty from my indulgence in what was said. I held grace in my small chubby fingers and went to work on devouring the whole thing. Unable to fit my small mouth and small hands around this large concept, I got it smeared all around my mouth, on my cheeks, fingers and hands. I don't mean to reduce grace into a donut, and I sure as hell don't want to reduce the Christian life into being a big yellow school bus which was what I heard someone else compare it to.

I just can't fully understand God. I don't have a lot of faith in my capacity for the obtaining of wisdom. All I need is something simple but at the same time is found deep and extremely profound. Something infinitely big, yet I still I can hold bits and pieces of it; a great epic tale that can still be read to the enjoyment of small children. I think I'm starting to understand what Jesus was trying to say when he wanted us to be like children. Jesus in his infinite patience and wisdom, taught as if to infants and can still be found spelling out each letter.

Most of the time I stare right back with a dumb look on my face.