The conversation I had tonight won first prize in the "Most Frustrating Conversation Ever" category. My want to give, his refusal to accept, plus his want for money, both aggravated and perplexed me. Marvin sat in front of me pleading his case for almost an hour trying to get me to give him money. I still don't know what he really wanted it for, but I never got to find out.

Tonight was our creative date with Sarah Stroker's Bible Study girls. As a result of some hasty planning that began last night, we had an incredible evening with some awesome girls. It was supposed to be Brad's Bible Study who were doing the date, but since there were only four of us who were actually able to make it, we invited any other guys we could find. The date started when we went over to where they were having Bible Study and made them sundaes and milk shakes. During this time people found people to talk to. There were big groups and small groups. Groups of just girls and some with guys and girls. Some were deep conversations and some were about what was going on in school. After people had gotten to know the girls that had bought our date, we took them out to a park in downtown Gainesville called Downtown Plaza. It was a beautiful night and we sat on sleeping bags and did praise and worship. This was such a blessing and helped me to get my focus off of my self.

This accomplished one of two things. I was able to worship God freely and wasn't encumbered with thoughts of what people thought about me. Also, I was able to care for people other than myself. After we were done worshipping the Lord, Kimberly and I went over to some homeless guys who were sitting on a bench nearby who had, no doubt, heard us singing. We were able to talk with them about the Lord. The only thing they were confused about was that they believed they weren't able to reach God's standard so they were being punished with being homeless. We explained to them that none of us meet God's standard, and that's why grace is so important. I didn't get to finish this conversation because I spent the next hour talking with Marvin.

The extent of our conversation went something like this:

Marvin: "I'm in a tight spot and don't know what to do. The bus ticket place is closed and I'm stranded in Gainesville and need to get back home to Jacksonville."
Josh: "ahh, man that sucks. I'm sorry. How about if I set up a time to meet you in the morning and buy you a bus ticket to Jacksonville."
Marvin: "ah no man, I need to get home as soon as possible. My mom is dying of cancer and I need to get home to see her. I can hitchhike but I need money in my pocket in case a cop pulls me over. Did you know that you can get arrested for vagrancy if you don't have any money on you?"
Josh: "Really? Well, It's almost one o'clock and I don't see what difference a few hours will make...how long have you been stranded here in Gainesville again?"
Marvin: "um...four days."
Josh: "And you can't wait a few hours until the bus ticket station opens and I can get you a ticket home?"
Marvin: "well the thing is I haven't eaten for about 2 days."
Josh: "I'll take you to an all night place and we can get something to eat."
Marvin: "Oh, I don't mind if I go without food... I just want to get home to be with my mom... she's dying you know."
Josh: "Well, I've told you the different ways I can help you out."
Marvin: "I don't do drugs or alcohol. I used to be in a gang and we were against drugs and alcohol. I've also got this problem with my liver that I'm taking medication for. If I drank any alcohol, my liver would shut down. I'm not going to buy any of that stuff if you help me out with some money."
Josh: "I'm sorry bro, but I've already told you the ways I can help you out."
Marvin: "one day someone will be telling you the truth and you won't know it because you won't trust them."
Josh: "I've offered to help and you've turned me down. If you were in my position what would you do. I want to help you, but you don't want my help."
Marvin: "all of you church-types are the same."

....and the conversation ended shortly after. I prayed for him and as I got up to leave I offered to shake hands with him and he quickly took his hand away and turned to stare blankly in a different direction. I felt hurt and I started to doubt whether I was making the right decision as I walked away and left Marvin sitting their. I tried to share Christ with him but all he wanted from me was my money and not my help. I was helping him by not giving him money, but I'm sure he didn't see it that way. Maybe this feels a little like how God feels when he offers us everything and we turn him down. We refuse to become his friend, only wanting to use him as a crutch when we need help with money, or need some help out of a tough situation.

I don't think I want to experience something like this again.