I have found that I am considerably fatter when I sit than when I stand.

I am sitting without my shirt on and am smiling at the unflattering sight that meets my eyes when I look downward. The problem with working-out is that it takes consistency, which is something I don�t have in great supply. I probably wouldn't mind having tighter abs and bigger muscles, but when I plan to start working-out, it doesn't last the week.

I wonder what a physically fit guy thinks when he looks down at his stomach while he sits in his underwear. It has been a long time since I have flexed my muscles in front of the mirror. There has been no improvement and there is no need to remind myself of that fact. Sucking in my stomach is uncomfortable, and I've stopped doing it. I can thank my dad, for the hair on my upper back, and my thighs are white with little red dots here and there. My pecks sort of sag, and my nipples sometimes inflate like blimps or shrink to the size of raisins. I thought the oversized nipple thing would end after puberty.

I was wrong.

The fact of the matter is that I look a whole lot better with my clothes on. I've come from the school of thought, where I don't care what people know about me. If I were to take away my weaknesses, I wouldn't recognize myself.

Most people look relatively the same underneath the skin, so why the elaborate cover up? Is it so difficult to bare the soul, with pants around the ankles? Waiting for the first snicker or giggle, it never comes. It is a perfect opportunity for people to point and laugh but nobody thinks it�s funny. I tell them I have trouble with keeping my mind pure and they shake my hand and tell me that it takes guts to say it. I say I have an addiction to my flesh and they don't ashamedly look away. Secretly almost every guy struggles the same, so why all the foreplay? Everybody knows it, and nobody can work saliva into their dry mouths to form the words.

I don't take pride in the fact that I think of myself has a horrible person. Paul didn't take pride in the fact that he thought of himself as the "chief of sinners." I always thought sanctification was synonymous with self-improvement.

I was wrong.